The only Predictable thing about Mother Earth, is that she’s Unpredictable.
COVID COVID COVID. Have you heard enough about Covid yet? Yes, me too.
Because of Covid, Karisma Hotels & Resorts was unable to host their annual GIVC Awards. Those of you unfamiliar with what the GIVC Awards are, allow me to explain. It’s basically a big party and awards ceremony down in Mexico for top accounts with Karisma.
Though they did not have the full blown event, Karisma did invite a select few of their top accounts to come down on what they called the “Seaside Palms Retreat.”
This was a nice gesture to show how much they appreciate their accounts and agents. They had an awesome Mexican themed welcome dinner for us, and they had other events planned for us. However, Mother Earth didn’t receive an invitation, so she decided to just show up and force her way in.
She did this in the form of Hurricane Zeta.
After having a lovely evening filled with tequila, tacos, and churros, a new day was upon us. This day, which was supposed to be meeting/open discussion day with site inspections and free time, was cut short, for now, they had confirmed that we were in the path of hurricane Zeta – she was to stop at nothing to rain on our parade (no pun intended…well, yes, actually pun fully intended)
I seem to remember it being about 12:30pm, I had just left the meeting hall, the sky was already squeezing out any evidence of a warm Mexican sunshine, and the winds were just barely making their presence known.
We were told that dinner reservation for the evening would be moved up because the restaurants would be closing at 7:00pm. “I hadn’t made any reservations yet.” I remember thinking to myself. Continuing my journey from the meeting hall to my room I stopped at the concierge to make reservations. To my surprise, in the ten minutes it took me to walk to my destination, they had yet again altered dinner plans and I was now being told that “all dinners were a first come first serve.” – no reservations. (essentially every man for himself.)
By 5:00pm the sky was gray and the winds were at sustainable gusts. At this moment I received a message on Facebook. It was my Lomas buddy Jorge. “Hola amigo, restaurants will close at 5:00pm…the hotel will provide box lunches in the rooms and room service available til 7:00pm.” Wonderful, it was past five.
“Let’s make the situation more difficult.”
Now is as good a time as any to add a key factor to this story. I’m doing 75 Hard. It’s not a diet or a challenge fad. It’s a test of mental toughness. Google it. All you need to know is when you’re doing it there are 5 rules you must follow each day for 75 days.
1. Two 45 minute workouts.
2. One gallon of water.
3. Read ten pages of non-fiction.
4. Follow a meal plan.
5. No alcohol or cheat meals.
At 7:00pm we were to be in our rooms for the night until further instructed that we could leave them. The rain had already been falling and most places were shutting down. I was in my room well before 7:00pm. Not being able to eat or drink anything out of the mini-bar, I opted to order what ever I was “allowed” to have from room service. “One chicken caesar salad, one spinach salad, one crispy beef burrito, and one grilled chicken and veggies.” I proudly declared over the phone knowing this was a lot for one person to order. “Mr. Kramer, at this moment we are only allowing two plates per room.” the voice on the other end muttered, absolutely crushing my dreams.
Only two plates. A salad, a small chicken breast and veggies to hold me over until sometime tomorrow. I was in for a long night.
The “box lunch” arrived. A ham sandwich (one single slice of ham) with an apple and a juice box. Served in a brown paper bag, this truly felt like something a lazy mother would pack for their 8th grader. “Ahh, lovely, a sandwich, can’t have that. An apple, might snack on that. A juice box…reads side of box which is in Spanish – azúcar: 48g, can’t drink that.” For someone not doing 75 Hard, I’m sure this would have been a good lunch, which was being served at dinner time.
Some time around 7:00pm my room service arrived. If this was just a little snack to enjoy in my room I wouldn’t have been so underwhelmed. But this was suppose to be my dinner, the substance that was to last me “until further notice.” The salad was tasty, but only comparable to a side salad. The ones most people throw away. The grilled chicken was cooked to perfection. However, it was too small and the veggie portions were so tiny it would’ve made a child jump for joy that this was all the vegetables he had to eat before being dismissed from the table. For a moment, after finishing every bite, I sat and pondered if this would be enough…”Would I survive this storm? Would my hunger drive me to leave my room before allowed, on a dangerous quest to find more food?” Only time will tell.
“Through the night and into the day.”
For most of the evening I found myself on my laptop, with Two and a Half Men (in Spanish) on the TV as background noise. The wind was now at a continuous howl. The palm trees were all bending in unison to the right. The thatched roofs were being tested for their strength. White-caps had started to form in my pool as if it were a small model of the ragging seas. Much of the night went on like this. Hangout on the bed. Hear a loud gust of wind. Get up, poke my head out my back door to see if I would witness a roof or tree or something being hurled through the air. I never got to witness this, and at some point, turned the lights off and let the sounds of the hurricane send me off to sleep.
The next morning I immediately went to my back patio to asses the damage. What I saw was not all that bad. Lots of palm fronds in the pool and all over the ground. A majority of the chairs in the area had made their way into the pool over night. Things were blown around, but no major structural damage.
Around 11:00am they released us from our luxury hurricane bunkers. I chose to walk around the property because I wanted to see how things held up and because I knew the chaos that was bound to be going on at the one open restaurant must be avoided at all costs. I eventually had lunch and was graced by a Mexican rock band playing Santana and the Eagles in hopes to lighten everyones spirits. It seemed to be working, or perhaps it was the long socially distanced line that lead up to the bar. Either way the sun was starting to peak through the clouds and things were getting better.
Only one pool was open, maybe one bar was open and the all-inclusive vibe was not there. The scene felt like the guests were trying to pretend as if nothing happened – drink their drinks and hang in the pool. Mostly it just felt like everyone was in the way of the staff, trying desperately to clean up the resort.
I was due to leave the next morning, and the highlight of my evening (post hurricane) was a non-alcoholic beverage I had at our farewell cocktail party which was taking place of our farewell dinner that was supposed to be at Margaritaville Island Reserve. The second highlight was being able to have dinner at my beloved Mexican restaurant, “La Carretta.”
“The only worthy adventure is adventure itself. “
All-in-all this was an interesting trip. I’m glad to have experienced a hurricane. Now I can tell clients how they will be handled in the event this happens to them. However, if you’re not doing 75 Hard and anything goes; here are some recommendations I would make in order to maximize your vacation fun during a hurricane.
If there is any talk that a hurricane will be making land fall, you need to stop what you’re doing and switch into preparation mode.
Something to note, in Mexico if there is a hurricane coming, it is law that alcohol stop being served at 3:00pm. What you want to do is get a twenty dollar bill and some empty bottles or mugs and head to the bar. Your mini-fridge should be stocked with decent mixers, so all you need to do is stock up on your spirit(s) of choice so you can continue the party after you’re in your room “until further notice.”
Food. At some point everything will be closed, even room service. If you’re okay with the super basic ham & cheese, you can skip this step. As soon as you know about the hurricane you need to order room service. Be sure to order things that you’re okay with eating cold. Make sure to order as many pizzas as they allow you to order. You can always heat a slice of pizza up on your iron that is found in your room. (just be kind and wash it off after it cools.)
Besides all of that alcohol you have stored in used bottles of sunscreen, you’ll need to make sure you have enough water. For one, it’s a necessity, but you’ll also want enough to make coffee the next morning. Odds are you won’t be able to leave your room for quite some time.
The power may go out. Most properties have back-up generators (the El Dorado brand has them) but it’s smart to keep your phone on the charger throughout the day just incase the power goes out.
Lastly, try to make the best of it. Hurricanes suck, and can put a dampener on any vacation. Following these steps above will ensure your survival. In most cases the hurricane will last one day or night. By the next morning things should be getting back to normal. Be proud about hunkering down at an all inclusive resort and riding the storm out. Though it takes away from some of your vacation, at least you’ll have a good story to tell.
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